Uncategorized

I think I hate my husband.

By 9.45 this morning, I was showered, dressed, my make up was done, Little R was dressed, we had both eaten breakfast, we had played in the sandpit, I had done two loads of washing, hoovered downstairs and washed the pots. Husband was still in bed. I made him a mushroom, bacon, egg and sausage sandwich which Little R and I took upstairs to him and we woke him up. He clearly had woken up on the wrong side of the bed- he took one bite of the sandwich, informed me that he ‘wasn’t in the mood’ and promptly fed it to Bertie. Now, I understand I am a drama queen, and can be overly sensitive, but it actually hurt my feelings. I was disappointed that every weekend he asks for breakfast in bed, and the day I made it for him, he was petty enough to feed it to the dog. I was disappointed that he had no regard at all for my feelings. And I was disappointed that he was ungrateful and he didn’t even say thank you.

Another problem we are having is, as a degree student, I am expected to put in 40 hours a week of study. Husband works just over 40 hours a week as a mechanic, which obviously pays a great proportion of the bills. Often, when he has a hard day, he will go to the pub and have two or three pints to ‘calm down’ after work. He isn’t particularly academic (although he has the greatest amount of common sense in someone that I have ever met) and therefore he doesn’t always appreciate education. He will often come and ask me what I have done all day, when I could have three assignments due in that week, and have spent all day looking after Little R, studying during her naps. Apparently it is a common argument that parents of babies have, the full time worker cannot comprehend the amount of time, energy and effort a young child will take up, but sometimes I just want to punch husband in the face. The things that I do in the day are just as important as his job, but my day’s work never ends, and is unpaid. I don’t get holiday, I don’t get evenings off and I am on call 24/7.

I think the point of this blog is just to vent my frustration. I can’t be the only one who is fed up. I have been told over and over again that it gets easier, that the first year with a baby is the hardest, but I’m not sure I can continue to do it for much longer. Hopefully the advice is correct though, it isn’t much longer until Little R turns one!

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “I think I hate my husband.

  1. Although I don’t have kids of my own, working as a nanny I totally understand how exhausting looking after children is. I absolutely loved my job but I spent all my time in a permanent state of exhaustion, and at least I got evenings and weekends to myself. Even a perfect day (no nappy explosions, tantrums or refusing to eat) was hard work, and I can’t imagine combining that with uni stress! Make sure you take time to do things just for you once a week or so! It’s not long until summer, and by your next year of uni Little R will be much more independent. ❤

    Like

  2. Things do get easier, yes, after they turn 1 because they are a lot more independent. Communication makes things that much easier (and fun). But there will be a whole new set of challenges – tantrums, opinions, testing boundaries…. but that too shall pass.

    Yes the office-goer doesnt understand exactly how time and energy-consuming looking after a baby 24/7 is. Its hard work…. and its a common argument:(

    Hats off to you for putting in the studying hours too! Hope things ease out soon. Hugs

    Like

    1. Thank you very much, that’s really sweet! I am trying to do everything but achieving nothing, or that is how I currently feel! I am dreading the temper tantrums, she has just started to become full of attitude and I can only imagine it gets worse! Yesterday she pointed at me and said ‘yes’ when I told her no! What a monkey!

      Like

  3. I am in a similar boat here. My husband suffers feom anxiety/depression which is a pretty exhausting battle for him, and so without one full day off at least per week (ie. sleeping in til noon or 1) he can’t survive. When he is on call, he has to work 6 days and then some evenings so of course I ‘let’ him sleep on Sunday, sometimes til 3. But then what about me?? It means I do two weeks straight with no rest. Up at 6 or sometimes earlier, doing all the housework etc. It is exhausting. But the worst part is the lack of recognition. 😦 It is really hard when he gets the extra sleep and then doesn’t thank me or offer to watch the kids later in the day. He will watch them if I ask but doesn’t take them out of the house ever, sadly. Can be so fruatrating. And my feelings would have been VERY hurt if my breakfast in bes had been thrown out! BC he may not realize it but it is a selfless act. At a time when u are tired and feeling overwhelmed, instead of waking him up and yelling ‘take this baby, let me sleep’, you let him sleek in AND made a sandwich. I would have been very hurt too. You’re not alone! Talking it out with him will help… Just try not to accuse him of anything, praise his hars work and the edforts he puts in for the family and then let him know you need some help because you’re outting in a lot too. Good luck, it I’d so tough. :/

    Like

    1. I really appreciate that you have taken the time to read this, and to comment. Since Little R has turned one, it has actually got better. I have started working – albeit only a few hours a week, but I am slightly more financially dependent so that helps a lot. Husband has also sorted himself out and is amazing at everything – being a provider, a dad and a husband. We are going away for a night just him and I next Monday so it will be amazing to be just ‘us’ all over again. It must be so hard for you and your husband to have to deal with depression. I also struggle with depression but I couldn’t cope if husband had depression; I rely on him far too much and he really is my rock. I have literally just praised him right now and he looked at me like I was mad so maybe I should do it when I am not sat at my laptop! Good luck with everything but it would be nice to hear how you are doing! 🙂 xxx

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s