By 9.45 this morning, I was showered, dressed, my make up was done, Little R was dressed, we had both eaten breakfast, we had played in the sandpit, I had done two loads of washing, hoovered downstairs and washed the pots. Husband was still in bed. I made him a mushroom, bacon, egg and sausage sandwich which Little R and I took upstairs to him and we woke him up. He clearly had woken up on the wrong side of the bed- he took one bite of the sandwich, informed me that he ‘wasn’t in the mood’ and promptly fed it to Bertie. Now, I understand I am a drama queen, and can be overly sensitive, but it actually hurt my feelings. I was disappointed that every weekend he asks for breakfast in bed, and the day I made it for him, he was petty enough to feed it to the dog. I was disappointed that he had no regard at all for my feelings. And I was disappointed that he was ungrateful and he didn’t even say thank you.
Another problem we are having is, as a degree student, I am expected to put in 40 hours a week of study. Husband works just over 40 hours a week as a mechanic, which obviously pays a great proportion of the bills. Often, when he has a hard day, he will go to the pub and have two or three pints to ‘calm down’ after work. He isn’t particularly academic (although he has the greatest amount of common sense in someone that I have ever met) and therefore he doesn’t always appreciate education. He will often come and ask me what I have done all day, when I could have three assignments due in that week, and have spent all day looking after Little R, studying during her naps. Apparently it is a common argument that parents of babies have, the full time worker cannot comprehend the amount of time, energy and effort a young child will take up, but sometimes I just want to punch husband in the face. The things that I do in the day are just as important as his job, but my day’s work never ends, and is unpaid. I don’t get holiday, I don’t get evenings off and I am on call 24/7.
I think the point of this blog is just to vent my frustration. I can’t be the only one who is fed up. I have been told over and over again that it gets easier, that the first year with a baby is the hardest, but I’m not sure I can continue to do it for much longer. Hopefully the advice is correct though, it isn’t much longer until Little R turns one!