Or tattoos. Or dreadlocks.
One of the things I have found in life is that people are judgemental. No matter what you do, people have to pass comment. Get a new haircut? Someone will have to say something. Changed your make up? Everyone is suddenly a make up artist. Chosen to become a mum? People will give you advice left, right and centre.
One of the biggest things that people seem to be judgmental about is how you choose to portray yourself. Currently, I have dreadlocks – which I adore – a nose ring and a few tattoos. Yesterday, shopping in Tesco, a woman said to her partner ‘look how dirty she is, I dread to think how her baby will turn out’. My dreadlocks are fake, I wash my hair daily and I often shower twice a day, which is more than an awful lot of people I know. If she was referring to how my baby would ‘turn out’ in terms of being like me, there is an awful lot worse she could be. If she ‘turned out’ to be a young woman with dreadlocks, a nose piercing and a few tattoos which she had chosen and paid for herself, whilst studying at university, running a house and being a mum, I would be proud of her. I don’t understand why the way that a person chooses to look means that they will adhere to all of the stereotypes that are related. I am married, my husband and I work hard for everything we have and I don’t rely on anyone else, so if I want to get a tattoo, it is nobody’s business but mine. Some of the most tattooed and pierced people I have ever met have made the greatest parents.
I am friendly with a model/burlesque performer called Roxy Reveals– the type of girl my parents warned me about. She has multiple facial piercings, she has lots of tattoos and she is extremely well known within the burlesque community. Going on how people judge others, she is the type of girl I should avoid. She has a daughter of a similar age to Little R, and actually, she is one of the greatest people I have ever met. She has the greatest morals, and the best parenting skills, I have ever come across in a person. Despite the fact she has a full sleeve and a ring through her septum, she is absolutely amazing, and someone I am proud to call a friend.
I don’t understand the taboo with piercings or tattoos. Understandably, the tattoos that are permanently on show – on the face, the neck, or the hands – may be seen as unprofessional but does it change a persons qualities or behaviours? For me, I think that these people are just more comfortable in their own skin, they know what they want and they aren’t afraid to show it. They have decorated their skin because it is what they want to do, and they don’t care about the opinions of strangers. I admire these people more than anything, to the point where I wish i was brave enough to become heavily pierced, heavily tattooed and heavily dreadlocked. The shaming needs to stop; people have always been – and will always be – quick to judge others and unfortunately it is ‘human nature’. All I can do is look forward to a time when we wont feel the need to pass comment, maybe we should focus on our own flaws and not worry about how others choose to represent themselves.