I am aware I have been AWOL recently. Everything seems to have happened at the same time – Little R has had a cold and been really needy, university has started again, it was my birthday, I have been trying (but massively failing) to try and de-clutter my house and fabulously, our landlord has decided that he no longer wants a dog to live in the house.
As I often discuss, I am battling mental health issues at the moment and have been for a few months, and so everything has been difficult. I feel like I am drowning. Naively, I thought third year at university would be the same as the second year but I am already beginning to struggle with the workload and I have only been at university for a week! It seems to be much more focused on independent study and I just don’t have enough time in my life. Similarly, I want to make my house spotless and de-clutter each room, but there are not enough hours in the day. With the threat of eviction hanging over our heads, it is difficult to concentrate on anything positive however, it would be unfair to say that my life is a huge bag of negative-ness.
My husband and I have been getting on amazingly, and I am hoping that it will last. Don’t get me wrong, we bicker like cat and dog, but on the whole, we have begun to work together and be a team. A problem has always been that we don’t show our appreciation towards one another but recently it has become obvious how much he adores me, and I would like to think he knows how much I love him. Since the beginning of our relationship, the journey has had many ups and downs, but I am so proud of the man that he has become and he is amazing. He is a fantastic dad to Little R and I love him more and more every time I see him with her. He works so hard to provide for his family, he is selfless and considers us before anyone else and I couldn’t wish for anymore in a husband. He is my rock and I am so lucky to have him in my life.
My family are also incredible. My Mum, my Nan, my sisters and my brother and my sister-in-law have definitely stood by me at my craziest. My mum has been amazing and has completely understood when I haven’t been very well and has supported me throughout it all. My friends have also understood, which has been so helpful!
My baby – who is no longer a baby – is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Whilst I do struggle with parenting six days out of seven, she is the cheekiest and happiest little girl I have ever met and I just adore her. I can’t believe she is getting so big and she is literally the reason that I get out of bed every morning.
Whilst there are many parts of life that I am struggling with, the people that I have around me are incredible and I often forget how lucky I am to have them. With them around me, I feel like I can conquer the world and I need to remember that everything will be okay.


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